So someone is nagging me to do an update. Here it is.
It was an emotional crashing, btw.
I’m doing a bit better, but I had another panic attack yesterday, and had to ask off from work again. My doctors, family, and I are all trying to figure out what is going on. And trying to fix it. But really that is the last thing on my mind at the moment.
I found my lovebird, Roxy B Sky, dead this morning. I’m heartbroken. I’ve been bawling my eyes out all day (minus the 6 hours I spent at work). She was going to be a year old in July. I loved her to death, she was my life. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. My room is way to quiet and empty without her.
I’ll do a better update when I have less on my mind.
Update (HAPPY?!) May 29, 2008
Empty May 21, 2008
I really don’t know what to say, because I don’t know what I’m feeling.
I crashed Monday night. Fucking CRASHED. It was ugly.
Now I’m numb, and empty. . .
Scared. . .
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to fix it. . . .
Don’t know anything.
Fuck.
I’m back. May 18, 2008
Hey. I realise I’ve been gone for a while. . . I’ve just been busy.
My best friend Sam was in town, so I’d been spending a lot of time with her. Random boy drama. Promotion at work. All excuses, but hey, that’s all I have.
I dont’ really feel like filling you in on the past month, not a lot to say about it. Sorry.
Last night was queer prom. I thought it was going to be loads of fun. . .
Got Anna at 4:20, we went back to my house, spent an hour or so getting all dolled up. She looked gorgeous, as always.
Went out to eat at red robin. Whole lotta food, only ended up eating like half of it. It happens. Leftovers rock anyway.
Then we got to prom right at 7. There weren’t many peopel there, so we sat in my car and talked for about half an hour, then finally went inside.
Prom sucked. Poorly organized, not a lot of people. . . . just lame. I felt bad. I never got to go to a real highschool prom, so I’d gotten all excited about it. . . total letdown.
We ended up going to Cherry Pie. haha. Just for a few minutes, for fun. The Anna got a call from her friend who was having a party, and we dropped by for a bit.
I think the highlight of the night was driving around with the windows down, blasting avril lavigne.
In that moment, we were infinate.
<3
